So, I'm back...

SO, like the title of this blog says, I'm back! I know I said I'd be updating often, but I haven't been lately because so much has been going on.


We conceived for the second time in November after only a few months of trying! It was so exciting! I knew I've been on Metformin for my PCOS and my hormones have all been great, and I lost 15lbs versus the last time I was pregnant. I felt great and felt healthy. I had all the typical pregnancy symptoms, so many more compared to last pregnancy, so I was sure this baby would be okay!

December 4th. First at-home pregnancy test taken, very light, almost couldn't see the positive line!



Dec. 6th First Response Positive Test

I had bleeding on December 19th when I was exactly 6 weeks pregnant. We went to the ER and did all the normal tests, including an ultrasound. The ultrasound showed a gestational sac and the yolk sac, which made me happy. HCG came back around 6,000ish. The doctor seemed to say it didn't look good mainly because of the fact when you have over 6000 HCG a fetal pole should at least be seen, and it wasn't. It had me concerned, but in a way not surprised since I'd gone through this same thing before. What didn't make sense to me is now it was happening even earlier than last pregnancy. We went to a follow-up appt at my regular OB and they couldn't even find a yolk sac on the ultrasound anymore, just the gestational sac; not only that, but the gestational sac looked like it was almost flattening a little bit. It was upsetting, but again, I almost wasn't surprised. I almost didn't have much emotion to all of this and told my mom I didn't feel as attached to this pregnancy as the last one and I didn't know why. She said she thinks I had my guard up because of what happened last time. I think what she said was true, especially after hearing it. It's very sad.


Anyways...here I am at 9 weeks 3 days pregnant and the pregnancy still hasn't been passed. My OB gave me the choice to have a D&C (minor surgery to remove) or wait for it to happen naturally. Because my body did such a good job last time at miscarrying naturally, I'm choosing to do that. I really don't like the thought of being put to sleep when I don't have to be and I don't want the chance of any of the risks that come with a D&C, even if the chances are small. So, I've been given until the end of January to pass the pregnancy on my own and if not, a D&C is very recommended, and I will do, because I can't stay pregnant forever. I won't get a D&C before a last ultrasound, though. I guess I still have that tiny hope that a baby is still growing in there and I'll see it, even though I know the chances of that are very small. :( My OB said he's 99.99 percent sure the pregnancy is nonviable. So, if it turns out to be viable it will be some kind of miracle!


On a positive (and negative) side, my doctor did some recurrent miscarriage testing on me and I came back positive for an MTHFR genetic mutation; turns out I have one of the worst versions of it, as I have 2 copies of a mutation, which means one genetic mutation from each parent. Most people only have one mutation and get it from one parent. Two mutations are less common. MTHFR is where your body has a problem absorbing folic acid and B-vitamins. I've been researching a ton on it and I've read having one copy of a mutation allows you to absorb around 50-60 percent of the B-vitamins whereas my version you are usually only absorbing around 10 percent without knowing it. I've read most people don't find out they even have a MTHFR mutation, and many only find out once they have multiple miscarriages or stillborn(s). I'm thankful my doctor ran all the possible tests so I was able to find out I have this. The positive to this is now I know what is most likely causing my miscarriages; however, the downside is the fact I have a genetic disorder that affects my health in general and during pregnancy has to be treated. From what I've read, being pregnant with my version of MTHFR definitely takes some work before and during a pregnancy to have a healthy pregnancy.

Next week I get a test result back to show if I have elevated homocysteine and if I do, I get sent to a hematologist, I guess to learn more about it and get a plan. I'm not sure what will happen if the homocysteine comes back in a good range. I do know if it comes back in a normal range it means my MTHFR isn't as severe. If it comes back positive, I will probably be on blood thinner shots daily when pregnant next time, along with extra vitamins, prenatal and possibly daily baby aspirin. (Don't forget my Metformin medication for my PCOS!) Let me tell you, this is going to be fun. NO, it's going to be work!! And when I have my child, I'm going to remind them every day how much I wanted them to go through all this to have them with me, haha.  If the levels come back normal, from what I've read I'm assuming I might not have to be on daily shots and I would just be on excess vitamins and a baby aspirin. As I requested by me to my doctor, I will also be on extra progesterone next pregnancy (hormone that sustains pregnancy), even though my progesterone is pretty good.


So, that's about all that's been going on with me. I got pregnant again, going to miscarry - again - found out I have ANOTHER fertility issue, and currently waiting for next week's test results to know what the plan is. One thing is the same: I'm not giving up on my future child or children and I feel in my heart God is waiting to bless us with one; I just have to get through this to show him I don't lose my faith and to show him how much I want this.


Besides all the fertility issues, we had a great Christmas/holiday season. This was the first year I stayed home with Charlie. We woke up around 6AM and did our Christmas, just us and the dogs :) It was so nice. We went over to my parents around 9 AM and did Christmas there. Then Charlie went to his fam for Christmas. I had an AMAZING vacation. I was off work for two weeks and it was perfect. It was also perfect timing so I could just relax and have time to myself after learning about the miscarriage. Everyone needs a vacation from work! I don't think I'd stay sane if I didn't get a break from work every now and then, other than weekends. I ate a lot, shopped, and did a lot of nothing, haha. Ideal vacation.

What I'm looking forward to right now is tax returns and profit sharing at work. Luckily, since Charlie and I both work at Geico that means we get double profit sharing checks. ;) Thank God 'cause we have some debt to pay, a couple hospital bills, and just a few things we've just been wanting to buy :). Can't wait to finally have some extra cash again.


That's about it for me. I'll post about test results next week and probably write again before then. Dogs are good, house is good, husband good, family good. All is as good as good can be right now.